


Slip of the Tongue

by runforthebus



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Fluff, like cotton candy fluff, lily is an idiot and james is a smug bastard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-05
Updated: 2015-11-05
Packaged: 2018-04-30 04:56:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5151092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runforthebus/pseuds/runforthebus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"She too noticed, quite slowly and dreadfully, that the booth next to theirs was occupied by four troublemakers- one of which so happens to be the bloke she just confessed to having feelings for." </p><p>Lily confesses and James overhears. (canon-verse james/lily oneshot)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Slip of the Tongue

**Author's Note:**

> hola, amigos. :)
> 
> this is a gift for my friend, jenica, because she and i are super sluts for the marauders era and also jily blood-sisters.  
> (but really, this is a gift for myself because these two dorks are my everything)

_Hmmm._

_This is weird._

Lily couldn’t help but think about it as she prepared for the day ahead of her. Rummaging through her closet, trying on outfit after outfit, she couldn’t stop herself from drifting to that subject.

 _Why does it matter? Why am I trying so hard? It’s not like I’m trying to impress him or anything, because I’m certainly_ not _doing that_.

Well, of course she isn’t. Why would she? It’s not like he would care. Not anymore, at least. Besides, it’s not bothering her. It was bound to happen anyway. After years and years of constant rejection, he was bound to finally give up and come to terms with the fact that nothing more could happen. That no matter how hard he tried, she would never say yes.

 _But why did he give up now? Of all the times,_ now _?! Just as I’m starting to……_

Nope, it’s not happening. This son-of-a-bitch emotion that she’s feeling right now is only fleeting. It’s going to pass. Of course it is. It’s actually quite stupid in the first place, if you think about it. And Lily is not a stupid girl. Quiet smart actually.

On the other hand…

She blames it on the fact that he’s matured. Looking back now, she recalls how his arrogance and self-important attitude brought her to absolutely hate his entire being. How he thinks that just because he’s achieved so much, it means that anything else is inferior to him. But somehow, over the summer, it’s like an entirely different side of him emerged- a side which Lily can’t help but constantly think about and one that drives her mad up the wall. Ever since they’ve been forced to work together as Heads which eventually led to them becoming friends, she’s gotten time to meet the _real_ him. She’s noticed that he’s changed; he’s less rowdy and he knows his limits, but his playfulness and mischief still remain which to Lily have become frightfully endearing. Most importantly, he became modest- which Lily never thought it possible to happen.

What bothers Lily the most, however, is that she _knows_ this new side of him was always there, even when he was an arrogant prick. She was either too blinded by her fury to notice, or she never took the time to actually get to know this new side.

And because of that, all the more she can’t help but fall for him.

She begins to notice how his eyes are always full of life, but would unequivocally light up even brighter when his friends were in the room (and at one point, when _she_ was in the room). How his lazy attitude isn’t his way of showing the world that he’s superior to them, but it’s just _his_ way to tell the world that he just doesn’t care. And the most irritating of it all, his hair, that once irked Lily and haunted her dreams at night, has become sort of charming and the thought of running her hands through it continuously seep into her mind.

She can’t stop thinking that maybe this _feeling_ wouldn’t pass. Maybe shemissed her chance and she’s going to grow up with the thought of regret; she’d turn into that drunk person sitting at the bar talking about what could’ve been, and what would’ve happened if she _just said yes_.

But she can’t say yes because there was no question asked.

Being irritated by that fact, she accidentally tugged too hard on the shirt she was taking off, leaving her with a slightly sprained neck.

_He didn’t ask me._

Which is true, and that bothered Lily. _Really_ bothered her. She just couldn’t believe that he didn’t ask her out, especially since it was a Hogsmeade weekend. Actually, she couldn’t believe that he hadn’t asked her out since the beginning of the year. He hadn’t given the slightest indication of interest to her, and that upset her to the point where she would bang her head on the table top and wish she were the giant squid in the lake.

_At least the squid had it easy._

Did she do something wrong?

_Well, duh. You just rejected him for the past six years of your life. He’s never going to fancy me again. Not after what I’ve put him through._

_....._

_Well, that was depressing._

And with that new dismal disposition, she settled on going to Hogsmeade in a pair of sneakers, jeans, and a white camisole with a red V-neck sweater. Because of the chilly weather outside but the disappearance of snow, she brought her Gryffindor scarf and black jacket along.

“Let’s see now.” She faced the mirror and took a good, long look; she hoped she’d feel slightly less gloomy now that she had something to wear.

_Nope. I still feel weird._

* * *

 Due to the fact that the _one_ guy she wanted to go with didn’t ask her, and she rejected the other invitations presented to her, she went to Hogsmeade with her friends, Hestia and Alice. Entering the Three Broomsticks, she and her friends settled for a booth by the doors.

They spent most of their time in that pub, drinking butterbeer, and for Hestia, firewhiskey.

And boy, did she enjoy it.

“We should play ‘I never’!” A slightly tipsy Hestia exclaimed as she roughly rested her head against the window.

Lily, who was sitting beside her, playfully tugged on Hestia’s brunette locks and calmly warned, “Merlin, Hes, you’ve drank a bit too much. We don’t need you drinking anymore.”

“And seriously Hes, it’s like 3 in the afternoon. Isn’t it a bit too early to be getting sloshed, even for you?” Sitting across from them, Alice stated this while slowly placing her hand upon Hestia’s bottle of firewhiskey and dragging it farther away from her and out of Hestia’s reach.

With a finger pointing towards Alice and her other hand grabbing for her bottle, Hestia replied, “When you two get dumped by your boyfriends on the day before Hogsmeade, that’s when you can tell me it’s too early to get sloshed.”

Lily lightheartedly rolled her eyes at Hestia’s feeble reason. “Hes, you only dated for about a week.”

“And that was the best bloody week of my life.”

Alice and Lily laughed at the ridiculousness that is Hestia.

However, Lily, being the good friend that she was, needed Hestia to stop drinking, especially since the third years were sending funny looks towards their table, specifically to the drunk brunette by the window. “You’re just thinking of reasons to get sloshed.”

“Nuh-uh! It’s perfectly justificated.”

“You’re making up words again, Hes,” Alice stated bluntly.

Lily nodded. “That’s never a good sign.”

There was a flash of confusion on Hestia’s face, but it was replaced by a glare directed to her two companions.

_Uh-oh._

Hestia shook her head. “You two don’t get it.”

“Hestia, we’re sorry okay? Jasper was a prick and you didn’t deserve him one bit.” Lily tried to place a placating hand on Hestia’s, but she withdrew it as though it was on fire.

You see, when Hestia gets drunk, she gets vile. Just as her consciousness drops, so does her morality and use of nice words. She would, nevertheless, feel guilty about everything once she was sober, but she didn’t give a damn when she was smashed. So when she was, indeed, smashed in the Three Broomsticks with her two best friends, whose love lives were far more stable than hers, she lashed out.

“You prigs don’t understand. You’ve always had it easy.” Then Hestia, pointing another finger at Alice, stated rather insolently with a hint of bitterness, “You’ve been in a gag-worthy relationship with the same bloke for five years, and I’m pretty sure you’ve got your kids’ names all planned out,” then to Lily, “and you’ve already got a bloke who would murder Dumbledore just to make you happy. All he’s waiting for is for you to take that stick out of your ass.”

That was surprising. And both Lily and Alice made that clear in their faces, although Lily’s face was a mixture of disbelief and anger.

Hestia ranted on. “My bloody point is that you don’t have to constantly worry about how people perceive you because you’ve already got someone in your life who wouldn’t bloody care! I’m single and no one gives a damn about me except for you two, and maybe even the professors, but don’t they give a damn about everything?” Then she added in a weaker tone, “I really liked Jasper. I know it sounds bonkers seeing as we’ve only been dating for a week, but I really fancied him. Then for him to just throw me away because he found someone _better_. It’s… it’s not easy, for Merlin’s sake.”

Alice, being the motherly friend she was, recovered from her shock and nodded. “You’re right Hes. We never even considered that.” With an understanding voice, she continued, “We’re actually really sorry. And, we _mean_ it,” Alice added when it looked like Hestia was going to interject.

Lily, on the other hand, didn’t take that statement too lightly. She did understand where Hestia’s bitterness came from, but what she said really stung. Didn’t Hestia know what kind of emotional trauma she was going through? Something that was constantly eating her up? It didn’t help that she said that he was waiting for her to take that stick out of her ass, because even if she did (which, she absolutely did not have), it wouldn’t matter because _he’s no longer waiting._

That thought was plaguing Lily since the beginning of the term and right in that moment, something inside of her just….

Hestia must’ve noticed the look on Lily’s face because she then sobered up. “That was out of line. I’m really sorry for saying that.”

“You’re not the only one who’s got it bad alright?” Lily interjected, “I _truly_ am sorry for what Jasper did to you, but you shouldn’t be attacking _us_ for it.”

“Lily, it’s alright, oka….” Alice tried to say but Lily didn’t want to hear any of it.

Taking a large swig from the firewhiskey that she roughly grabbed from Hestia’s hand, she continued, “You’ve no idea what I’ve been through- what I’m _still_ going through. You said that I’ve had it easy because I’ve got a bloke who would ‘murder Dumbledore just to make me happy’ but the truth is that… the truth is that I don’t know.”

She took another swig, and continued with much ferocity in her voice.

“For the past six years of my life, he has made it his life’s mission to give me thoughts of suicide- _every_ time I saw his bloody face; all I wanted to do was hit it with a bludger. He was an arrogant, self-centered, selfish, bullying, man-child, and all of my thoughts of murder were justified by that.

“But now, he’s... he’s different. His head’s no longer the size of the bloody Whomping Willow, and he’s changed- for the better. I used to hate him, but now... I just don’t mind his presence- it’s quite endearing actually and that freaks the shit out of me.

“What’s _worse_ is that I’m _falling_ for the git. And that sucks because even if I wanted to be with him, nothing could happen because he _isn’t_ there anymore. He _isn’t_ waiting for me anymore. And that bloody well sucks, now doesn’t it? Because just as his head deflated, so did his liking for me. And that’s a _bloody stake through my heart_ because I’m falling harder and harder by the minute, and for the love of Merlin, he doesn’t give a bloody _damn_!”

A brief moment of silence, and then:

“Lily?”

Slowly turning her head around to the source of those spoken words that came from behind her, she was met with the face of a bespectacled, disheveled boy whose questioning stare made her furiously blush and reasonably uncomfortable.

Looking around, she finally noticed that Alice and Hestia- who by the way, seemed to sober up pretty quickly after Lily’s revelation-, were just as shocked to see James, and she too noticed, quite slowly and dreadfully, that the booth next to theirs was occupied by four troublemakers- one of which so happens to be the bloke she just confessed to having feelings for.

James, who was sitting by the window and across from her, looked at her disbelievingly; as though his parents told him that Santa Claus was eating dinner at his house- he was ecstatic but doubtful. Peter and Remus, who were sitting behind her, along with Sirius, who was sitting beside James, looked from between both parties expectantly, waiting for something to either explode or just for something interesting to happen because everyone knew that shit just got real.

Lily stared wide eyed. “I… I was… I was just-talking.”

There was a deafening silence that followed in which bright hazel eyes met with alarmed green ones.

Then Lily did what any sane person would do in a situation such as this.

She ran.

“Lily! Wait!” James called after her, “Oh come… where are you _going_?!” The sound of clattering bottles. “Padfoot, move it!”

James ran after her, out of the Three Broomsticks.

Both booths that were occupied by the abandoned parties stayed still for a resounding moment.

Then Sirius stated rather bluntly: “Well, that escalated pretty quickly.”

* * *

  _WHY?!?_

Running out of the Three Broomsticks, Lily never stopped asking every single powerful being in this world: why? As she was running, she could hear _him_ calling out her name, telling her to wait.

No, she bloody hell will _not_ wait.

_Oh, the irony._

She hustled her way through the bustling streets of Hogsmeade, coming to the resolution that she, under any circumstances whatsoever, is never going to face James in the light of day ever again. Even when the light of day isn’t there. Basically, she would never face James ever again.

“Evans!” She could hear him shout all the way down the street. She turned around and found that he had stopped running, and even though she was far away, she could tell that he was breathing heavily.

“Leave me _alone_ , Potter!” She shouted, not minding the strange looks that were being sent her way.

“Where the _bloody hell_ are you off to?!”

“I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure that I’m not telling you!”

And on that final note, Lily ran towards the castle again.

James looked up to the heavens as if he were asking for spiritual help and muttered ‘stubborn bird’ before running off after the redhead.

* * *

 Ever since she reached the castle, Lily never left her dorm room. Which is why when Hestia and Alice entered soon after Lily did, they found her moping on her bed.

“Gerrghawwee.”

“What is that, Lily dear?” Hestia asked lightly.

She lifted her head from the pillow and replied, rather miserably, “I said go away.”

Used to Lily’s over-dramatic attitude and emotions that seemed to be all over the place, Lily’s two friends just gave her a look that clearly said, ‘No’.

Flopping her head ungracefully back on her pillow, she exclaimed with much dejection, “I’m never leaving my bed.” When Alice and Hestia just rolled their eyes -in a weirdly synchronized fashion-, Lily sat up, nodding her head vigorously. “I’m not joking. The bed and I, yes, we just got married. This afternoon, in fact. Right after I _completely embarrassed myself in front of Potter_.” Lily exclaimed each word despondently and with a scowl on her face.

While Alice went into the bathroom to procure a glass of water, Hestia sat at the foot of Lily’s bed, placing a soothing hand on her shoulder.

“What happened after I ran?” Lily fearfully asked.

Hestia began contemplating, thinking about the best answer to give to Lily. She knew that Lily’s question pertained to Potter and what happened to him after she ran, and she decided that she would answer Lily’s question gently to prevent any violent throwing of pillows. Alice returned with a glass of water which she then proceeded to give to Lily. As Lily was drinking, Hestia finally settled on an answer.

“James ran after you, managed to scare a bunch of third years close-by. We ran shortly after him, though in a slower pace- basically, we went for a jog or something of that sort.”

Alice then began to continue Hestia’s answer, “When we reached the castle, we found James in the common room.”

“Yea, he was screaming your name. _Loudly_. I’m surprised Professor McGonagall didn’t give him detention or anything for ‘disrupting the peace’.”

Lily gave a forceful smile. “I know. I’m pretty sure the entire _castle_ heard him.”

“Did you?” came Alice’s question, which Lily knew was a rhetorical question, but she wanted to prolong the unavoidable confrontation she would have to undergo and decided to answer it.

“Well, he was just _screaming_ my name from the common room, so I think I might’ve heard someone call me.”

With a pacifying rub to Lily shoulder, Hestia smiled guiltily at the floor. “Lils, I’m really sorry about what I said back there. I didn’t know you felt like that, and what I said was _way_ out of line. If I hadn’t attacked you, you wouldn’t have had to run- which I know you hate doing because you say that your legs can’t handle it, which I know isn’t true because for a bird, you’ve got pretty strong legs and…” sensing that neither Lily nor Alice wanted to hear about the vitality of Lily’s legs, Hestia went back to her point, “I knew this mouth of mine was no good. Okay. I guess… I don’t have an excu…”

“Hes, it’s alright.” Lily genuinely smiled at Hestia’s sincerity, and gave her a hug to assure her that she meant it. Pulling away, she said “He was guaranteed to find out anyway. I guess… I just wanted to delay the inevitable.”

“So it’s true then?”

Hestia asked this suddenly which made both Alice and Lily start. Alice, along with Hestia, looked expectantly at Lily while Lily just stared at the ground.

_Might as well get this out in the open._

Lily then proceeded to tell them everything, and by everything, I mean _everything_.

* * *

 After the “apocalypse”, as Hestia likes to so brusquely call it, Lily never left her dorm room, and the next day, she made sure to steer clear of James or anything Potter-related.

A task that Lily underestimated- _unquestionably_ daft on her part.

“Lily, we need to talk.”

She was peacefully sitting in the library when he abruptly appeared out of nowhere, taking a seat across from her. She was resolute to keep her mouth shut.

“Evans. Evans. Lily. Lily. _Evaaaans_.”

“Evans. Don’t make me bring Sirius in here. You don’t like it when he’s in the library, surrounded by so much books that are highly combustible.”

“Evans. If you don’t talk to me, I’ll set Hestia on fire.”

Lily almost laughed at that threat, except she didn’t want to particularly talk to James at the moment, so she kept her head down to hide the smile that was threatening to break out.

James placed his hand on the homework Lily was currently working on, hoping she would look up and glare at him- because at least then, he’d know that she wasn’t going to ignore him forever. “ _Merlin,_ Lily, talk to me.” He added quietly: “ _Please_.”

Desperately, James did the only thing he could think of, and abandoning all pride, he stood on the table. He stood there for a good five minutes, and his plan would’ve worked, but just as Lily’s resolution was about to break, Ms. Sevoy chastised the Marauder, and he was forced out of the library.

It was the same throughout the entire day, sans the table standing.

As his plans for her to talk to him became more and more creative, it was getting harder and harder to run away from him. It came to the point where she hid in the Prefects’ bathroom in between classes and sacrificed the first five minutes of Potions just so she wouldn’t have to cross paths with James again. She couldn’t go through class without having notes being thrown to her table or her head, or hearing ‘ _pssst_ ’ sounds from behind. She tried asking Hestia and Alice to help hide her, but they replied with ‘ _Lily, it’s time to face the music sometime_ ’. How could she face the music when the music made her want to scratch her eyes and pull her hair out? Although, the only help she seemed to attain was from the portraits, but they were too _bloody_ loud to hide her from marauding wizard.

_When will this end?_

It was during dinner in the Great Hall where Lily thought James must’ve given up because as she was eating dinner, it was unusually peaceful. He stopped trying but that didn’t mean that Lily didn’t notice the glances that he would surreptitiously send her way.

Lily asked herself once throughout the day, _‘Why won’t you just talk to him?’_ Naturally, she didn’t want to actually confront James about what she said. Who would? How could she face James, now that he _knows_ how she feels about him? Would he laugh at her face? She didn’t want to find out that James was desperately trying to talk to her just so that he could break her heart and smash it with that lovely hand of his.

Merlin, where was her courage?

_Gosh, Godric Gryffindor must be rolling in his grave right now._

* * *

That night- more like at one in the morning-, as she was lying in her bed, she couldn’t sleep. She blames it on fact that she was hungry; she couldn’t really eat during dinner, not with Potter sitting five seats away from her. Tossing and turning, she couldn’t ignore the stabbing hunger that was threatening to eat her own stomach, so she pushed the sheets away. She soundlessly tiptoed her way around the dorm until she reached the door. As she opened the door, she prayed to the heavens that she wouldn’t find Potter waiting for her down at the steps.

He wasn’t.

He was waiting for her in the common room by the fire.

She stopped mid-step on the stairs, mouth hanging open and body tensing. The fire in the common room was still burning brightly, and its light showed a figure sitting on the red sofa. She contemplated whether she should just starve herself to death in her dorm, or run really quickly- and quietly- to the portrait hole and out of emotional stress that was in the form of a teenage boy.

_Wait. He’s moving._

It was true. As he was moving, however, Lily heard a sound. It sounded like...

A snore.

_He’s asleep._

She looked up to the heavens with pure relief on her face and murmured a soundless thank you.

She quietly treaded on down the stairs, and fighting with herself, moved closer to the sleeping James on the sofa.

The fire’s glow was doing things to his face that made Lily’s insides churn and twist, but it was a good churning and twisting. His glasses were askew and his mouth was partly open, giving him the picture of an innocent little child who fell asleep watching cartoons on the television. Somehow, the image gave Lily the impression that she had to protect him and go against all odds to keep him safe whether it be for him or with him.

Merlin, he was trouble for her.

The serene image, however, was disrupted by a gawky snore from the sleeping boy.

Rolling her eyes with a small affectionate smile on her face, she tiptoed towards the portrait hole and in a matter of seconds, she found herself walking down the halls to the kitchens.

* * *

 

Coming out of the kitchens with a satisfied smile and stomach, she was walking back to the Gryffindor tower when she heard the unmistakable sound of footsteps. Placing her hand on her wand, she continued to walk noiselessly.

Suddenly, she heard the voice of a man coming closely from around the corner unobtrusively cursing and muttering “… stupid portraits, won’t keep to themselves.”

All the blood from Lily’s face drained and only one thought occurred to her.

She started running in the opposite direction until she found a broom closet she could hide in.

* * *

 When she felt it was safe to exit, which was a good ten minutes, she opened the door slightly and took a peek out. She almost screamed when she saw a man standing on the far left side of the door, but later on realized that it was just one of the many suits of armor situated around the castle. Thankfully the hall was still illuminated by the dying embers of the torches and the moon’s light entering through the windows.

_Bloody immobile knights._

And as quietly as possible, she opened the door wider and stepped out. She rested her back on the door in relief from escaping the mad clutches of Filch and closing her eyes, sighed to herself.

“You can’t run away from me forever.”

The abrupt arrival of those words caused Lily to start and, in the process, bump her head unceremoniously on the door. James immediately ran to her aid, but was stopped when Lily raised both her hands indicating for him to stay away.

“What are you doing out here?” Lily asked, looking everywhere but James’s piercing gaze.

“I could ask the same for you, Evans.” James replied rather teasingly, “Didn’t think of you as the rebellious type.”

Feeling the blood rise to her cheeks, Lily stared long and hard on the ground next to James’s feet.

There was a pregnant pause in which Lily uncomfortably shifted her weight from foot to foot, and James just stared. Then, he told her honestly, “Lily, you have to talk to me at some point.”

Resigned, Lily’s shoulders slumped down and she sighed heavily. “I know. I was just hoping that ‘ _some point_ ’ would be in the distant future, preferably when I’m already dead.”

“If you were already dead, how would you talk to me?”

_“Exactly.”_

James laughed and, unintentionally, it sent the butterflies in Lily’s stomach to bang themselves against her insides.

To prevent herself from melting on the spot, she asked James the question she asked him only a minute ago, “What are you doing here?”

“Obviously, I was looking for you.”

“But… I thought you were asleep?”

“I was.” Then James gave her a knowing look, “Until I heard the portrait door close.”

“Damn it.”

Once again, he started laughing and Lily could’ve sworn her legs were failing on her.

His laughter, though, was cut short by the sound of footsteps. They both tensed and looking at each other, eyes wide and body rigid, James grabbed her by the hand and they ran to the common room.

* * *

 Once inside the common room, Lily tried to run to her dorm room, but James ran past her, impeding her path. He looked at her anxiously which made Lily scowl before moving down to sit on the sofa. Seeming satisfied with her choice, he flopped himself down next to her and gave her that expectant look again. Lily stared ahead, a neutral look on her face, not wanting to talk to the moron beside her.

There was an awkward silence that followed where Lily continued to stare ahead and James getting tired of waiting for her to speak up. The tension in the air suffocated the both of them, but Lily was just _too damn stubborn_ to not speak.

Finally giving up, James rolled his eyes exasperatedly, “Fine. I’ll go first.”

Lily eyed him warily as he opened his mouth.

“Lily.” He raised his eyebrows after talking while she looked at him expectantly.

There was another awkward silence that ensued.

Lily blinked. “That’s it? That’s all you’ve got to say?” She could feel the heat rise to her cheeks, but for an entirely different reason. She began to rise from the sofa, along with the tone of her voice, “After you so _adamantly_ spent the entire day _embarrassing_ me just to talk? ‘ _Lily’._ Really? That’s the best you can come up with?”

Lily tried, once again, to run to her dorm room, but James caught her by the hand, forcing her to turn around and look at him. She was fully set on chastising him for no good reason at all, but she was caught off guard; his face was glowing from the light of the fire and his eyes, oh his _terrible_ eyes, were staring intensely at hers. By looking at them, she could see the question that he couldn’t voice out: _Is it true?_

She replied in a voice barely above a whisper, unable to take her eyes off his: “Yes.”

The look on his face was unreadable, but Lily was sure of one thing: his eyes softened, but the intensity of it still remained. In an equal tone as Lily’s, he had to ask, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

She fidgeted on her spot, James’s hand still holding hers- which she knew was getting sweaty by that point, and if James noticed, he didn’t mention anything.

She remained silent, and stared obstinately at the empty spot over his shoulder.

Knowing he wouldn’t get an answer anytime soon, he asked another question. “Why did you run?”

She shrugged. “I didn’t… didn’t know what to do- I panicked!” When James gave her an incredulous look, she continued. “And I couldn’t face you there; not with Black- grinning like a madman and _Remus_ with his all-knowing looks and… Peter on the verge of _clapping his hands_ \- the entire scene was somewhat comical, actually.”

Sighing heavily, James pulled her closer using the hand he never let go of.

“Then why didn’t you tell me before?”

Seeming to apprehend that she couldn’t slither her way out of this (and out of his grasp- not that she wanted to slither anyway farther from him), she gave a defeated sigh and answered, “I wa… I was just… scared.”

Stepping closer to her, James lifted her head so he could see her face. His heart broke when he saw the vulnerable look on her face, how fragile she felt for having told him that.

“Why?”

She shrugged for a second time. “I felt stupid, I guess. I mean… I thought that…” She seemed to be battling with herself for the right words to say. Reluctantly, she stated in a hurried whisper, “You don’t fancy me anymore.”

James’s eyes almost fell from their sockets; he looked at her, completely bewildered. “Wh-what?”

She nodded her head briskly and said matter-of-factly, “You don’t fancy me anymore.”

Completely astounded, he stood there gaping at her. “Who told you that?”

“No one had to tell me that.” She rolled her eyes which began to become uncharacteristically watery. “Oh come… don’t look so surprised. We _both_ know that’s true.”

Taking his silence as confirmation, Lily pried her hand out of his grasp and headed for her dorm room trying her best to keep herself composed. Having had regained his senses, he ran after her and grabbed her by the shoulders, turning her around.

Lily seemed taken aback, and as she was about to inquire on what he was doing, he interrupted, “Why do you think I don’t fancy you anymore?”

She tried to think of an answer, but there was an irritating lump in her throat and her eyes began to sting with unshed tears; all she could come up with was a feeble ‘ _well_ ’.

He interrupted her once more. “Because I do- I _still_ do.”

Hazel eyes met with moist green ones, and James’s hands which were situated on her shoulders, fell down to his sides.

“I never stopped, actually.” He gave a disbelieving snort. “I _couldn’t_ \- even though I tried so bloody hard to get over you- and _trust_ me, Lily, that’s impossible.” With Lily remaining silent, he continued to say what he couldn’t say before, “I mean. It’s _you_. I’ve been _smitten_ with you since I was a little tyke. And I thought it was because you were the only one who didn’t fall for my oh-so- _brilliant_ charms and grade-school flirting.” Here, Lily chuckled lightly. “But by the time we were fifth year, that’s when I realized that… I was a goner.

“I fancied you- a _lot,_ and that scared the shit out of me. I was only a fifteen year-old, and I was, quiet embarrassingly, thinking about our wedding- which, by the way, would be _fantastic_ , if I had to say so.”

Divine laughter echoed in the common room.

Seeing Lily laugh urged him to go on, “But let’s face it; you hated my guts. And the only _pathetic_ reason why I kept riling you up was because, at least then, you would talk to me, right?

“By the summer of sixth year, I was resolute to keep you out of my mind- but to be honest; I don’t even think I was _trying_. It was then where I charmingly thought: ‘ _I should leave the poor bird alone_ ’.” When Lily raised a skeptical eyebrow, James rephrased his sentence, “All right, _Remus_ thought that I should leave you alone, especially since we would be Heads together.

“And you know what Lily? That has been the best decision ever. Because ever since I stopped suffocating you, you’ve been talking to me like a normal person- I _mean_ how _you_ talk to a normal person and not the arrogant James Potter.”

James took a deep breathe, and looked Lily straight at her hopeful eyes with so much earnest.

“So, in a sense, you’re right. I don’t fancy you anymore. Because as cheesy as it sounds, what I feel for you is so much _more_ than that.”

His words hit home. At an utter loss of words, all Lily could do was stare at the wonderful, annoyingly fantastic, bespectacled boy in front of her who looked so adorably vulnerable.

Before she knew what she was doing, she grabbed his face by the neck and her lips crashed with his. James was dumbfounded and left motionless, but just as quickly as the feeling came, it left, and he reciprocated, quiet enthusiastically, placing his hands on her waist.

The kiss was passionate, yet soft. His right hand, which was situated on her waist, slid up her back and into her hair, leaving goose bumps in its trail. Smiling into the kiss, James sighed deeply while Lily snaked her arms around his neck, bringing him impossibly closer. Everything they couldn’t say and everything they wanted to say was poured out into that kiss, no restraints and no holding back.

After an eternity later, they both pulled away, gasping for air. Opening her eyes, Lily couldn’t help but smile at the glowing euphoria on James’s face at the moment- it was contagious. James pressed his lips to hers again, albeit much gentler than before. He pulled away and rested his forehead on hers. Eyes still closed, smile still in place, he muttered with that trade-mark, crooked grin, “Hi.” That made Lily smile even wider.

“Hi.”

He whispered in that same, goofy tone, “I just snogged Lily Evans.”

Lily’s delightful laughter caused him to open his eyes and laugh along with her. She then whispered back: “Don’t count yourself lucky.”

He gave her that shit-eating grin she loved so much, and without much thought, she sighed. “Ask me.”

James tilted his head to the side like a confused puppy; Lily’s eyes still shining brighter than ever. She gently nodded her head. “ _Ask_ me.”

“What question?”

“The one I _love_ hearing.”

Oh, he knew _exactly_ what question she was talking about.

Everything felt so beautifully disconcerting, except all the bad weren’t there. With a steadying breath, he looked Lily in the eyes, and asked, for the final time: “Lily?”

“Hmm?”

“Will you go out with me?”

Lily bit her lip, making a show of thinking the question over. “Well...” She gave him one final chaste kiss and started to pull completely away from him, the warmth suddenly leaving both their bodies. She walked towards the girls’ staircase, her eyes never leaving his. “I’d have to think about it.”

James gave her an affectionate glare and warned, “Evans…”

“Goodnight, James.”

Watching her leave up the stairs with a fond smile, he responded: “See you tomorrow, love.“

He stood there for a good five seconds, smile and all, before Lily ran back down to him to give him one final, ardent kiss.

Once they pulled away, with a smile on her face, Lily blissfully whispered, “Yes” then ran back up the stairs to her dorm room.

He made his way to the boys’ staircase with a cheeky smirk on that mesmerizing mouth of his. He paused at the landing, gave himself a curt nod, “Yup. Still got it,” and climbed the remaining steps back to his dorm room with a certain bounce to his step.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed this as much as i wrote this. thanks so much for reading. :)
> 
> kudos/comments/bookmarks are tetris blocks fitting perfectly into place and are greatly appreciated and loved.


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